It's Not You

'A cracking read, interesting, eye opening, helpful, and all wrapped up in Charisse's beautifully warm and empathetic tone.' – ANNA WILLIAMSON, Relationship Expert and Bestselling Author of Where is the Love?

'This is the book everyone needs to read to gain a better understanding of relationships and how we show up in the way that we do, so that we can both love better and be loved better.' – HELEN MARIE, Trauma Therapist and author of Choose You

We are built to love.

Every part of our physiology and psychology is designed to connect to others and share our lives in deep and meaningful ways. As social animals we need people, this is the way we're built. But in modern life, so much has got in the way of creating healthy attachments.

When it comes to our intimate relationships, we are increasingly acting from a place of fear. We're scared we will choose the wrong person, or the person we are with doesn't love us enough. We're scared to get close. We're scared to be on our own. We're scared the one we love is pulling away. We are not securely attached.

We have all been profoundly impacted by our experiences from childhood and previous relationships, and our need to protect ourselves can become greater than our need to love. When we love, or try to be loved, our history permeates our present in the most all-consuming and powerful ways. This book will offer tools and strategies for creating positive, secure attachments and help us create the fulfilling and nourishing relationships we need.